Are you comfort eating?
Last week Dr. Claire rightly pointed out that there is more to dieting than just reducing your calories and watching what you eat. Your self control, habits and unconscious responses are all a big part of it too. So this week to continue, we’ll start by looking at automatic thoughts and comfort eating.
That might seem like a lot to conquer, so let’s break it down. What is the first thing that usually happens when you decide to start a diet? For the majority of people the first emotion is usually determination and that powerful sentiment of “I can do this.” But, VERY quickly, the automatic thoughts start to flood in. These negative statements and thoughts can start to take over, things like “why bother, you have too much to lose”, “you’ll never stick to it” and “you’ll just put it all back on again.” Or “you’ve had a hard day sure one takeaway won’t hurt”. Sound familiar?
The Gremlin:
Psychologists call these automatic thoughts but as a coach I call them Gremlins. They take over your positive thoughts, try to keep you in a negative place and hold you back. And let me just say, everyone and I mean everyone, has these at some stage in their life, whether it’s when dieting or embarking on any new journey. If you continue to allow these thoughts in, they will eventually become beliefs and limiting beliefs are a lot trickier to destroy.
So how do you get rid of them?
One of the ways to stamp them out is to be aware of them when they happen and use an affirmation or a positive motto or statement to overrule them. My personal favourite, and I use it a lot, is “watch me.” If the gremlin starts with “don’t try that you’ll never succeed” I simple say “watch me.” It makes me feel powerful and pretty unstoppable. If you hear the “but you failed before statement” simply respond with “Not this time!”
By creating and repeatedly using your own empowering mantra, you will start to feel authoritative, in control and unstoppable. You are bigger than that little rascal and soon you will see that it isn’t really that big of a deal at all.
Emotional eating:
The other diet threatening behaviour and one that a lot of people struggle with is emotional eating. But what is it? It’s the practice of turning to food in response to feelings and emotions rather than real hunger. Emotions such as fear, shyness, anxiety, depression, boredom, anger, stress, bereavement and hopelessness are just some of the reasons you may feel the urge to comfort yourself with food.
So what do you do?
Firstly, when the urge to comfort yourself begins, you need to identify whether you are actually hungry or emotional (the gremlin may say you are hungry, ignore it).
Secondly, you need to identify what the emotion or feeling is. I would recommend writing your feelings down in a journal or on a page, this will also help you to focus on something other than food. Get curious about how you really feel and what has caused that emotion in the first place. Then think (or write) about how eating will help or hinder the situation. I bet there are no positive ones on that list. This is where you must get as honest with yourself as possible.
Thirdly, you must take action. Distraction, such as calling a friend or reading a book, may help in the short term and prevent you from actually eating there and then, but you need to look at the long term solution.
Whether that is seeking professional help for depression or coaching to improve your self esteem. Learning to deal with your stress or boredom is fundamental to taking your control back, but you must decide your own course of action. One that suits your circumstances and one you can commit to.
The real issue here is that you are feeling something that is not pleasant and you are turning to food to change that feeling. Food may be many things but it isn’t the answer to your problems. So what will help you to turn that negative feeling into a positive happy one? For many it’s time with their children, for others is simply going for a walk. Look at changing, dealing with and meeting emotional eating face on. Remember, you have the solution within you.
The horrible truth of it is that when we give in to emotional eating we will always feel worse after the sugar rush or felling of fullness is gone. We then start to give out to ourselves as we realise we may have just added to our weight problem and gave in to temptation. There is no food that will make a problem better or make you feel happy in the long run.
Don’t feed that feeling, take action and approach it in a way that will resolve it once and for all. We can’t live without food but we can live without comfort food. Stop hitting that self destruct button and you will realise that you are stronger and braver that you could have ever imagined.
Thank you for this, really helped I gave in to a packet of biscuits when I was in the shop the other day, the first time i've done that in a while but I made sure I worked it off but I know it was because of some kind of emotion because I was hiding from someone I saw in the shop that I didn't want to particularly talk to and it happened to be on the sweet isle, absolutely ridiciulous :(
Comment by POWERPUFFGIRL -
Thank you. after reading this it made me think about things, i realised i am emotion eating, have just moved to a new area where i dont know many people and am eating to compensate. i will now try and do something about it, will take control back again, throw away all the suger biscuits etc
Comment by LESLEYANNEBRADY -
Thank you for this article I can eally relate to it as I know I comfort eat when I'm feeling bored or depressed. I will remember your response to your Gremlins. I'm just starting my health eating today and have over 3 stone to loose so it was also very timely for me. Kate 2012 your posting really inspired me to go for it as I am in a similar positon to you. I have tried many diets but this time I won't be beaten.
Comment by BARBARAHH -
I really enjoyed your article Julie. I have ME/CFS and besides comfort and emotional eating I often eat through boredom. I no longer work and feel ill, tired and achey most of the time, and have limited energy so at the moment exercise is off the menu. I have lost 4lbs since starting with Tesco diets even though I've not stuck to it properly. I'll start challenging myself from now on instead of going with my gremlins. Thanks, and good luck to everyone xx
Comment by CATHMARROW -
Hi Everyone, I am delighted to see so many of you addressing and taking control of your comfort eating and your relationship with food. Keep going and remember you are the boss of the scales, your food and your thoughts. For our newer members, remember that we are here to support you, so please stay in touch with us on the forums, facebook and live chat.
Julie.
Comment by JULESDUB -
I found it very clear and enabling. Thank you
Comment by SOLAALEGRE -
I enjoyed your article Julie, very inspirational. I know I am affected by emotions and eating, especially when there are any problems within my family. I will remember your catch phrase of watch me and be stong in more areas of my life. I have three stone plus to loose so need inspirationsto keep me going!
Comment by FRANNYANNY -
I started my diet this week...First weigh in tomorrow..I celebrated chinese New Year with friends last night but thanks to the tips on dining out I had a 'healthy chinese' and didnt feel deprived...I have 3 stones to loose....Maybe bit more... Wish you all a good week.
Comment by MEMERE1808 -
This is very insperational as I too have battled with comfort eating for many years. I`m trying to get in the habit of distracting myself from the thought of food at night time as this is my downfall, so when I think I feel hungry I`ll go and have a nice bath to take my mind off it or simply just go to bed and have an early night. I Think the root of my problem is that im probably tired and not hungry at all. I have been following this diet for 3 weeks now and I have lost a total of 7lbs.
Comment by EMMIELOU55 -
I am about to start TD tomorrow. My worst problem is that most social events seem to be centred around meals out and it's sods law that I have 3 evenings out next week. Previously I have made excused about meeting up for meals with friends but obviously this is not the way to cope with being very overweight and good friends will also fall by the wayside consequently. I will definitely be choosing the healthier options from menus and cut back on the alcohol with the meal. Krosch
Comment by KROSCHINSKI -
My 3rd week wth Tescodies and have lost 12lb so am very happy The problem with food is we cant live without it but limiting the nice 'food' is whats hard. I'm 60 this year and have battled my weight since it was puppy fat. I was bulimic for many years and also struggle with depression. Now that I AM losing weight my self respect has grown, I'm fat but I'm doing something about it and I like myself more, so all of us deserve a hugh pat on the back and a big hug, we ARE all winners @ Tescodiets
Comment by PURDEY1952 -
How strange to enrol on this and to find out I am not eating enough! Nor am I eating at the right times which I do find difficult as I work night shift.... Good luck to everyone on here. I am getting married in June and hope to be lovely and slim to start a healthy future with my husband!!
Comment by WISHBEAR -
I started the tesco diet 2 weeks ago and lost 7lb in my first week but this week i have had a rotten week as my little girl got ill so i haven't followed the diet i have basically not eaten anything all day and then had all the wrong foods at tea time! this just goes to show that i definately link food to emotion. i have my weigh in tomorrow and am dreading it!!! next week is a new week and i need to pick myself up and get back on track. got about 3 stone to lose!
Comment by STEPHANIE31 -
Thanks Julie, brilliant article. I liked the word Gremlin...and now that's stuck in my head so each time i reach for the cupboard that awful ailien will appear in my head and I will say to that creature...'watch me' . Thanks. Goodluck all - we can do this! x
Comment by DEEPAHARISH -
I actually eat less when at home - at work there are too many temptations in the form of vending machines, restaurant, colleagues bringing in goodies etc. This week I am on leave and have not been near a supermarket and have lived out of the freezer/cupboard - can't snack if nothing there to snack on and this week have lost 5lbs. The best part is I haven't truly started the diet yet - just being registered on here gives me motivation. Lost nearly 2 stone on Tesco diet last year so know it works
Comment by NANNABARB -
This article is very inspirational and motivating. I don't have far to go to my next target but I think I may have become complacent rather than demotivated. The will to succeed is still there but there is a danger in knowing that I can succeed but don't necessarily have to give myself a deadline. I will be setting a deadline this week to give myself a boot in the backside. I think, for me, this might work. We shall see next time I weigh in. Thank you for all the advice.
Comment by COLLEENMOSS -
Just reading these comments really touched me ~ I just feel so ashamed of myself at my lack of control but the urge is so overpowering. I got through a whole day yesterday without a secret binge... well Pheonix129 and to the rest of you have a great week, me I think I need to learn to knit to keep my hands busy!!!
Comment by PATLOSE7LBS -
I started my diet last Sunday I think I did quite well but must try and stick to the diet this week and try and stop skipping meals. I found that I am going a whole day without eating which I know isn't good for me. Some people comfort eat I just don't eat except drink coffee all day long.
Comment by TRICIACOX -
Jas posted on 27/01/2012
I started tesco diets on monday not doing very well. I have very sweet tooth and i comfort eat a lot.I need to lose 2st so have to work hard on my diet .Hope to do well next week .
Comment by JASBIRMHAY -
Hey NELLBAT53,
It is natural to be a little nervous about starting a diet. Feeling apprehensive about trying something that may be challenging is a natural reaction. But if you step outside of the comfort zone and give it your best shot you won’t regret it. Maybe have a look over how our previous success stories achieved their goal weight even when the negative thoughts flooded in. And remember, our mentors are here every step of the way to support, advise and help you.
Julie
Comment by JULESDUB -
Hey ABROWNING8, thank you for sharing your tips and suggestions with us. I really like the you are using exercise to take your mind off food and that you eat before you get really hungry. Super tips.
Julie
Comment by JULESDUB -
I haven't started the diet part yet but I AM exercising which is helping me feel better about myself and gives me time away from the fridge!! Having people to exercise with really helps. I find it helpful to eat before I get hungry, or at least have the food ready for when hunger strikes, otherwise I feel deprived, which means I eat twice as much! Sometimes I wish that there was no food on the house and that a meal would arrive so I wouldn't have to think about food at all.
Comment by ABROWNING8 -
NELLBAT53 - I gave up smoking 8 years ago with help from an NHS quit smoking programme I don't think I could have done it without them. Your GP surgery may offer something similiar so give them a call, you've got nothing to lose but everything to gain. x
Comment by CATHERINEMEESON -
I am nervous about starting a diet. Last year I was off work over 11 weeks with severe depression, and am still on anti-depressants. I also started smoking again which is dangerous as I suffer from COPD. I can understand about emotional eating as I have put over a stone in weight on through comfort eating, bad habits I developed whilst on sick leave. I want to succeed in losing weight and giving up cigarettes. I know it will be hard but if I succeed it will do so much to my self esteem
Comment by NELLBAT53 -
I have 8 stone to lose and have many Gremlins I need to get rid of! Need something else to think about other than food, but what? Have already stopped biting my nails this year which I have bitten for the last thirty years, so I am on a roll now, this eight stone will come off!
Comment by SMSPEARSON -
DIZILIZI3 - get rid of the biscuits and sweets! If I saw these in my cupboard every day I would find it really difficult to resist the temptation to eat them. If I take just one day off work all I think about is food, which stems from eating practically none stop (mainly due to boredom) when I broke my leg in 2010. It's not about hunger, its about breaking the habit. Stay strong. Good luck!
Comment by CATHERINEMEESON -
i have a sweet tooth and i crave chocolate and nothing else hits the spot! ?/Why do sprouts and lettuce not put weight on ? not working just now due to health probs and this doesnt helpToo easy to eat any time of day as no one else in the family need to lose weight the cupboards have plenty of biscuits and sweets in them But I am going to try harder as i have already lost 8lbs ,my next target is to lose another 8lbs dizilizi
Comment by DIZILIZI3 -
I decided I didn't want to be overweight anymore when I saw a photo of myself taken at xmas. Shortly afterwards I discovered I had high blood pressure. Three weeks into the Tesco diet I have lost 13lbs and already reduced my blood pressure back to normal (had to wear a 24 hour blood pressure monitor) so my GP is also impressed with Tesco Diets. I have taken control over what I eat and feel so much better for it - the gremlin ain't getting the better of me!
Comment by CATHERINEMEESON -
I have just joined ready to start diet in morning can't wait. I eat because i get bored and love chocolate but going to give this my best shot would like to loose at least 3 stone.
Comment by LINDATWEEDY -
I look forward to taking more control of my feelings so that i don`t binge any more. Recognising the reasons for over eating as boredom rings a bell!! I need to get a life and a hobbie.
Comment by MONDAY03 -
I have just joined tesco.diets. I struggle with comfort eating - I can't eat one chocolate I have to eat them all!!! I think I have a bad relationship with sugar! I am interested to see how I get on with support. 2st 7lbs to lose!!
Comment by SARAHIW62 -
This is all so true but so hard to beat. I'm 62 and have been a binge eater since I was 16. The longest without it was last year when I lost 4stone on Tesco diets. I've now put on 1 st 7 and can't stop eating at the moment. I'm really struggling . I will try to write as you suggest as I don't understand what causes me to do it. It is self destruct as you say.
Comment by PHEONIX129 -