Do you know where your priorities lie?
If you had a built in guidance system that helped you to make the right decisions and choose the best possible options for you, would you use it? Well the truth is that you do. It’s called your value system. There are a few types of values, but I’d like to focus on personal and life values for now. I believe by identifying and focusing on these you can actually achieve everything you want especially your weight loss goals.
This personal compass can be used to help you stay focused, even when life is challenging, demanding and even overwhelming.
Let's start by looking at your life values: What in life do you value the most? Your children, your partner, your house, your pets, your car, clothes, a social life? These are on most peoples list, give or take a few. But as I life coach, I see the same two being left off this list time and time again; you and your health.
Most of us never think of putting ourselves high up on the list but we really should. Think about it; what would life be like for your family and children if you were not able to look after them or even be there for them. If you have ever wondered why airlines insist that you fit your own oxygen mask first before attending to your children’s, that’s why. Without you their chance of survival is slim.
If you start to make time for yourself, to lose weight and blossom into the confident person you deserve to be, it will have such a positive affect on you, your family and everyone around you.
Do you feel that your weight and lack of confidence prevents you from living a full and happy life?
Lots of people tell me they fear social occasions, holidays and events because they dread going out, buying new clothes or meeting old friends. Some people have even admitted that they simply aren’t fun to be around anymore because their minds are constantly preoccupied by that fact that they just don’t feel good about themselves.
You were all born confident, happy, energetic and positive and by using your values as a guide, you can uncover all of those traits again.
So if you feel your weight may be having a negative affect on your health, activity, family or even your job, remember to keep your ordered values in mind anytime you feel you may slip away from what you want to achieve. If unhealthy food isn’t on your most valued list (and I bet it isn’t) don’t let it come before what is.
The other set of values are, of course, your personal values such as: Happiness, freedom, success, fun, security, determination or being in control.
This is where we will all differ greatly except for the happiness value. Most of us what to be happy. Personal values are what we want to have more of in our lives and what we desire to live by.
But each one has an opposite force, one that we really don’t want in our lives.
The opposite of:
- Happiness is sadness even depression or dispair
- Success is failure
- Fun is boredom is monotony
- Determination is weakness
- Being in control is indiscipline
- Confidence is insecure or doubtful
If you value being happy and successful, then work towards them and do all you can to increase them, in-turn removing the ones you don’t want in your life.
So how do you use this guidance system?
Step 1: Identify and put in order your two lists of values. If you value your job more than your car then that becomes higher on the list and so on.
Discover what is really important to you and decide that you will live by these no matter what challenges you may face, let them guide you in your actions and decisions. To put it bluntly, are you really going to put a tub of ice-cream before your chance to be confident?
Step 2: Focus on them every time life gets challenging. For example, if you fancy skipping your diet with the possibility that you may not lose weight this week, think about how that will threaten your happiness and determination value. Remember them every time you take action or make a decision, especially before you think about skipping your diet plan.
Move towards what you want and value in life. If you value your health, don’t allow anything to get in the way of that. As we transform and grow what’s important may change, some values may even become irrelevant, so regular revaluation is important.
Some people value the TV more than their fitness but if you think it should be the other way around; all you need to do is focus and give time to the new value. Flipping and prioritising values is part of the course but it may just change your life for the better.
Although a goal is very personal and you should be the one to want to do it, achieving it will in turn have a massively positive affect on your family, friends and people around you. There is nothing like hearing how proud someone is of you and how they want it just as much as you do?
I just want to leave you with a few things to consider; What do your values need to be in order for you to achieve your weight loss goal? And what kind of person do you really want to be?
Only you can decide where your priorities and values lie but remember you also have what it takes to achieve your goals and dreams even when you are challenged and tested.
very inspiational
Comment by NORAHJ0903 -
I've never thought of things that way before. I'm definitely going to try from now on. And Susan - your comment about the family trying your menu rings true. My 7 and 5 year old have tried loads of the recipes on my plan and we have discovered many new healthy family faves!!
Comment by FIWADD17 -
This allmakes senmse. I'm just starting yet another diet and this seems like a midset that could work! will keep you posted
Comment by CAROLNICKLIN -
SusanWilkinson posted on 19/02/2012
Thank you Julie for your words of wisdom. I have just started the diet and I must admit it was a little daunting with all the foods and getting into menu planning for myself and not around the family, which I have done with most of my failed diets. I have had a family discussion and to my surprise they are all happy to try my menu and are enjoying the recipes.It is the first time I have put 'Mum' first and I find this in itself gives me confidence to carry on
Comment by DAVID1987 -
Hi KATE2012 , I loved your comment I haven't eaten a morsel of chocolate, cake, biscuits etc, because I choose to be around for my family for many more years to come. You have hit the nail on the head by stating that YOU choose. You are in control and you are the boss of your weight and health. Amazing to hear! Your reason for being so determined is wonderful. I’d say your family are bursting with pride.
Julie
Comment by JULESDUB -
I found this really inspirational. It took my daughters telling me how worried they were about my health how much they wanted, needed, me to be around for many years to come, for me to realise I had to take action. My family mean the world to me, but I guess I'd forgotten that I mean the world to them. So since New Years Day, I haven't eaten a morsel of chocolate, cake, biscuits etc, because I choose to be around for my family for many more years to come.
Comment by CATHERINEMEESON -
Thank you - this has given me food (virtual food of course) for thought. I hadn't thought before about comparing things in the way you suggest. chocolate biscuit vs being around for my family - it's a no brainer!
Comment by MRSADAMS50 -
The American comedian and actor Danny Kaye sang a song: The Ugly Duckling - It was about an orphan chick that grew up with ducks and was picked on because of it's difference by all the other birds. It hid away in the reeds all winter, but the next spring a flock of swans saw it and said what a beautiful swan! The chick that thought it was an ugly duckling looked at it's reflection in the lake and said - I am a swan wow. The moral of this is: Stick to your diet and wait for the response.
Comment by RUTHYB10 -
Hi Claire, That is such an inspirational message for others.
I am delighted that you were able to overcome your fears and reach for what you really wanted.
Well done you!
Julie
Comment by JULESDUB -
Hi Julie,
Thanks for this, it's very useful advice. I used to use the excuse that 'people will laugh at me' for not starting a regular exercise routine. But being healthy and slim meant so much more to me than remaining overweight and fearing what people thought.
As soon as I mentally said to myself 'forget them' and got out walking, I didn't look back. I now LOVE my evening walk - and as for the people laught at me - they didn't! I've got my confidence and it feels great
C
Comment by CLAIRECHESHIREK -