Confidence is not only the fastest way to success it’s also by far the sexiest quality you can possess. Even if you have the most perfect figure in the world, if you lack confidence your sex appeal will greatly diminish.
Every week I have the fortunate opportunity to speak to extraordinary individuals who have managed to set themselves free from the clutches of the scariest, strongest most stubborn opponent in existence: doubt. Each and every one of these amazing folks had a choice. They could either continue to suffer and fade into the miserable drain and destruction of diffidence or they could punch back with all their might and regain what was rightfully theirs: self-confidence.
The individuals which I mention above are known throughout our site as Success Stories. They have inspired countless numbers of people to walk down their own personal road to success by sharing their weight loss stories. Many of them suffered greatly due to lack of self confidence and their physical health paid the price.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the magic words: “I have so much more confidence now,” after I ask them how their lives have changed since they’ve gotten healthier. The truth is that behind every success lies freedom from doubt. More than diet, more than exercise the secret behind achieving true beauty and health lies in self-confidence.
“Motivation, just like a fire, needs fuel to continue burning. The more success one has, the more confident you feel. In this way, confidence becomes fuel for motivation. Self confidence is a typical side effect of success. This is why we always recommend breaking tasks down into workable modules,” says psychologist, Dr. John Sklare. “Let’s say you have 5 stone to lose. If you break that down into say 3 or 5 pound goals, you then provide many opportunities for small successes along the way. Each one of those small successes then becomes another deposit to your bank account of self confidence.”
While success helps increase self-confidence, it doesn’t solely reflect performance. Behind every success there’s a first step. That first step is ignited by a belief in yourself and your abilities. It might be a small conviction and it might even be very skeptical but it’s enough to get you moving and that’s what matters most. Unfortunately, many times that glimmer of hope is lost when success is not achieved. Just as continued victories help bring about higher self-confidence, repeated failures often do just the opposite. The fastest way to lose that spark is by letting failures get the most you.
“Low self confidence can do serious damage to ones health because our cells are constantly being changed on our thoughts. After all, thoughts are actually electrical impulses that get changed into biological information and this information affects every cell in your body, says Sklare.
“According to mind/body medicine, wherever a thought goes, a chemical follows. Research has shown, for example, that a bout of depression can wreak havoc on the immune system while falling in love can boost it. Our thoughts are powerful tools and thoughts of low self esteem are unhealthy to both the body and the spirit,” continues Sklare. “In my opinion, there are no failures because failure is successes teacher. The key to using failure wisely lies in asking the question, “Now how can I use this failure to do better.”
The saying you are your own worst enemy is right on the money. It’s hard to beat the putdowns we dish out on ourselves. Add negativity from the outside world to the picture and the combination could be hard to swallow. Everybody wants to be appreciated, respected, and admired. When a person does not receive positive feedback from others low self-esteem often begins to take place.
According to Dr. Sklare, there are two primary influences that contribute to your self-concept or how you feel about yourself. In other words, there are two main channels of feedback that you receive that result in either a positive effect, feeling good about yourself, or a negative effect, feeling bad about yourself.
Let’s call these “Internal” and “External” feedback. Simply defined, Internal Feedback refers to the thoughts and opinions you have about yourself. Internal feedback is often referred to as “self-talk”. External Feedback, on the other hand, refers to the information that you receive from others and the world around you.
If in doubt of your beauty, you are masking the natural gorgeousness that makes you who you are. Health and soundness are the keys to enhancing your outer and inner potential.
“When an individual is successful at losing weight and getting healthy what happens? Well, the feedback that they receive from these two critical areas changes. When you are successful in getting fit, you also successfully change the colour and the character of the information that you receive from these two critical areas,” explains Sklare.
“For instance, when an individual is successful at losing weight and getting healthy, they like much better what they see reflected back at them in the mirror, this results in positive Internal Feedback or positive “self-talk”. And, when an individual is successful at losing weight and getting healthy, they also receive more positive feedback, both blatant and subtle, from the people and the world around them as well. This results in positive External Feedback as well.
In a candid survey of men and women ranging in age between 20 and 40, the top sexiest quality a person could possess was confidence. It’s simply not sexy to be with someone who constantly draws attention to their perceived faults. It is extremely sexy to be with a person who loves their uniqueness and beauty and accentuates their positive attributes.
Make health a priority and you will improve your confidence. Which, in turn, will automatically improve your looks? People will begin to pay attention and listen to you more than ever.
They will ask your opinion which will result in a greater sense of self which, consecutively, will make you look even better! As your confidence grows, so does the respect you receive – at work, at home, everywhere. Your life will improve in every way.